Today I had a heaviness on my heart. There were some things that felt unsettled. I was anxious. My thoughts were everywhere, and the more I stayed consumed in thought, the more anxious that I became. The more anxious that I became, the more I opened the door for Satan to go in, play around with my thoughts and create even more uneasiness. It was awful, and I knew that it needed to stop. So, I took a moment to pray. I also shared a bit with my friend, Tiff, in hopes that she would pray for me. Sure enough, a little bit later there was a sense of peace and calmness about me.
And the calm was good, because shortly thereafter I found out about a payroll glitch that would delay my paycheck that I was supposed to receive today. And then I was contacted about an unexpected bill for my University, that is still puzzling me. As thoughts of finances circled around in my head, I began to focus on the fact that I need to find a place to move into by August 4th. I have to be sure to have the funds for that. I then reminded myself about how chaotic so many things in my life seem right now. Before I knew it, that uneasiness begin to creep in once again.
So, I meditated on the Word and as I sat there, reading verses like Philippians 4:6-7 and Matthew 6:26, a picture came to my mind.
I thought about times as a kid, when playing with friends, we would blindfold one another and lead the blindfolded person around the house. When I was the one blindfolded, I wanted to trust that my friend wouldn’t lead me right into a wall, or cause me to walk into objects. Even though I did trust my friend, I would still put out both arms and move my hands around, feeling for all of the things that I couldn’t see with my eyes covered. I wanted to be aware of where I was, what was around, and where I should step. I was too afraid to walk in complete blindness. I had to have a part of myself guiding the way.
But it shouldn’t be that way with God. He wants us to have complete trust. He wants us to walk the path that He has for us in total surrender. We shouldn’t have to put our hands out, determined to find the trouble spots, so that we can change our steps accordingly. He wants us blindfolded, hands to our sides, taking each step in faith, walking His path, not our own.
As situations come up, I find that the more anxious I get, the more I want to take the control away from God. But God wants me to do nothing else but His will. I can trust Him to guide me accordingly. So in faith I must walk…hands to my side, or better yet, folded in prayer. I will not be afraid of the objects in my way. I will not be afraid to stumble. He will take care of me. His way is the best way!
Below is a song by Kari Jobe. Several months ago, when I was experiencing a lot of anxiety, I would play this song repeatedly, while breathing deeply and praying to God. It was a major help to me. I hope that you enjoy it.
Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.